On Call

What does a person trained in pastoral ministry, with four years experience as solo pastor do when the person has one unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, and no full-time employment with the nice little compensation package do to be faithful in serving Christ in the world?

Good question:

The answer: 
First you find a community that will provide you spiritual and emotional support, acknowledge as many of your gifts as possible and then put your whole self into the life and ministry of the community.

Next, you look around, and see if there is anywhere that needs a chaplain, hoping that it will be in a place that intends to provide a fair wage.

Then, when you realize that the industry standard for Acute Health care settings is 4 units of Clinical Pastoral Education. This is 3 more than were required for denominational service prior to deployment as a pastor. So you look for a setting that has the need for chaplains but lacks the financial resources at present to compensate their department personnel.

And that is where I am. For the present I serve as an On Call Chaplain in such a location.

In that capacity I've been called in to serve in some very special and holy events.

I cover Sunday Day, Monday Night, and from time to time covering for another chaplain other days.

15:00 Sunday... reading...
    "chaplain, this is ICU nurse... we have a patient here, her family and she requested pastoral care.. please come"

17:20 Sunday..I just sat down to eat dinner..
    "Chaplain, this is ICU nurse.. we have a family whose mother just passed away. Could you come to be with them?"

10:45 - Sunday... the Great Thanksgiving just about to start...
    "Chaplain, this is ED Secretary.. we have a family, the 19 year old granddaughter just died..Could you come be with the family?"

16:00 - Sunday..just finished writing...
    "Chaplain, this is ED Secretary.. we have a patient in critical condition, his daughter is here all by herself, could you come be with her?"

10:20 - Sunday...our priest is starting the homily..
    "Chaplain, this is Nurse D in the ED... I have a patient who really could use someone to talk to..can you come by today? It's not urgent, just whenever you can come would be fine.."

18:40 -midweek...meeting just about to begin...
    "Chaplain, this is ICU Secretary... we have a terminal extubation about to be performed, and family present. Please come..."

19:05 midweek...class about to start...
   "Chaplain, this is ED Secretary.... can you come be with family. Patient died and daughter with mother, they don't have any faith community to call on."

08:15 Sunday...the Gospel is just now being read...
     "Chaplain, this is ED Secretary....there is a full arrest being brought in..lots of family coming..can you come please?"


Holy places that require quiet calm, an ability to think quickly but speak carefully. Sometimes the discovery phase in the initial minutes are so raw and intense with emotions I wonder, "Lord, what's happening here, really?" "Who are all these people? How do they relate to one another and what is their connection to the admitted patient?"

This is holy and sacred space filled with the raw intensity of emotions of people whose hearts are broken at the very moment they hear the words "I'm so sorry, we tried everything, as long as we could, but we weren't able to revive .." and the wails and keening that rises up in the space sends a gentle shiver through me. But in that space, at that moment, my job is to witness, silently, respectfully, and be fully present to their grief, not to engage in agonizing or shutting them down immediately. Not to force my theological positions upon their experience. Their experience is wholly theirs as one of loss and initial shock.  My task in that time is to listen for every clue that will help me put together some sense of how they relate to some spiritual framework, some belief system that will sustain them through the coming hours and days.Only after I've observed patiently can I begin to ask questions, to dig a bit into history and belief for the family.

This is so different from congregational ministry in one critical way. In chaplaincy, I cannot presume that my spiritual worldview is at all like the patient and family's spiritual worldview. In a parish I've already built a relationship for dealing with the death, through our worship and study together. In the Acute care setting my role is to assist the family in connecting with their chosen pastoral relationship to continue the grieving process. In the hospital I might be able to directly relate words of comfort due to our shared general faith preference, but not always. I must never become offended if the family indicates a desire for help from their own clergy..in fact, my role is really to help facilitate that connection if at all possible.

Only after a respectable space has been given for their emotions to flow will I begin to find words and voice. Every event presents itself as a free form expression of lamentation at the initial announcement of death. Only after listening and observing can I begin to ask them about the sources of strength and hope for themselves and the departed. Never until I hear them name those sources can I begin to engage them more deeply in finding their solace and hope.

Sometimes I falter, and feel that I have failed to wait long enough in silence to them. "Did I flinch?" I might ask myself later. Flinching means that I exhibited a subtle inability to be calm and present in their anguish.

After every call, I'm filled with a sense of reassurance that this was the one important event of the day I for which I set aside the time to be available..to be On Call, to live out my call, to seek and serve Christ in every person.   The yogic greeting NAMASTE clearly fit the unfolding encounter..The Divine in Me acknowledges the Divine in You. 

Rainbow Connection

I started my morning in the usual pattern...

I got a text from Tim, updating me on his schedule...working a 24 hour car we never know if he will be up all night or have the good fortune to catch a few hours of sleep.

"Meet you at the gym"

"Ok" I replied.

I fed the cat, began to make my breakfast, washed the dishes...

felt a momentary wave of sadness about my sense of unfulfilled call to the priesthood...

and shrugged it off... nothing can be done about that now.

Went to check in on email, news media stream and facebook while I ate my oatmeal.

Ready to head out the door...later than I like but in time to synch our schedules at the gym.


At 8:05 I headed out the door, got in the car, drove down my street two blocks and turned west onto
Del Oro.

I look ahead and am struck by this tremendous full arching rainbow. The beauty is so intense I want to take a picture but hate the development that will be captured in the picture so I keep driving slower than usual so that I can continue to soak in the beauty.  And then it hits me

"Do not let your heart be troubled!" Spirit whispered words of comfort and encouragement.

The Gospel of John bringing solace and hope in the midst of my frustration and disappointment.

Suddenly too, something else occurs to me.

I'm two blocks away from our new residence... driving on Del Oro Road, the "Road of Gold".

"What riches "that exceed all that I can desire"  (words from the Collect for yesterday) lies in the future?"

I cannot imagine. All I can do is rest in the hope found in the story of the Covenant of the Rainbow and the Book of Revelation. All that I can do is be faithful in discipleship with that which has been entrusted to me.

Lord in your mercy, make it so.

"I Bind unto my self this day the strong name of the Trinity. 
By Invocation to the same, the Three in One, the One in Three."
The Breast plate of St. Patrick rises in my heart as I continue on toward my destination.

As I turn to the north, the intensity of the rainbow changes, diminishes, as I shift my perspective in relation to the sun and rain that falls in the west.  The momentary transcendence of the encounter with the Holy also begins to recede into my memory as I continue to make my way, by a different route to my destination..

Waiting at the intersection without anyone behind me and streams of traffic to my right and left,  I hear the notification bell on my phone...

I've already missed hearing one notice come in when I glance down.

I have 2 messages from Tim.

"Got Call"..."At st.m. no bed delay"

Onward to the Gym.

As I travel west on Bear Valley I drive right into the rain shower.. a spring rain, gently reminding me of the days spent in Ireland, and the sweet saying Monseignor Murray offered Tim and I on our wedding day.
"Rain, surely a sign that God will be showering you with blessings."

You have to love how an Irishman can highlight the good in the most common of occurrences for the people of the Emerald Isle, and shared that tradition with the descendants of immigrant Irish Catholics.

Surely we will be blessed
and have been blessed
and are called to be a blessing to others.

Let It Be So, Lord.
Amen

Let it be.

Yoga Toes

Winter is thankfully long past and many transitions have been progressing during the past four months.

After moving from the home which we really conceived of as our place of retirement we have been settling into new daily patterns of living.

Some changes have been very good, and really quite unanticipated.

Gone is my morning walk in the desert.

It has been replaced with a gym membership and resumption of yoga practice.

My first introduction to yoga was during my ministry in Ashton, Idaho. A wise woman of the congregation approached me about offering a short introductory yoga class. She first met the teacher through her ministry to the dying as a Hospice Volunteer. The community interest in the yoga class was enthusiastic.  We started with a six week session in the fall, before the heavy winter weather would create travel problems at night. My own experience was positive. Frankly though, I simply lacked enough discipline to continue on my own after the offering. We repeated the offering again the following year. And again I lacked discipline to keep up the practice. Too many real obstacles to engage in a student-teacher relationship served as the reason for letting it slip. I merely dabbled in the practice, accumulating the equipment and supportive videos but tucking them just out of sight. I became a lapsed yoga student. It was a yoga seed planted in shallow soil.

 

Since our move has placed us in a neighborhood that lacks the same delightful place to do morning walks on the edge of our community, the membership at a local gym seemed the best way to recommit to our much needed and appreciated exercise. The double bonus was the availability of yoga classes.

So now, instead of cramped up tight toes I am developing Yoga toes.

That’s right, Yoga Toes.

Wide spread, supple and steady toes now provide support my Tree Pose. I am feeling stronger, more flexible and finding peaceful sleep with the integration of an evening relaxation practice. I feel more ready each day to walk “in Christ” and to offer presence to others as I find greater physical strength and flexibility.

“As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace.” Ephesians 6:15

Footnotes - Crunch Toes